Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Remembering My Dad Today

Today marks 4 years since my Dad made his trip to heaven.

I will never forget that day. It was a Friday morning...I had just woke up and was late to meet my sister.
The phone rang a little after 9am...my sister was calling. I knew she was gonna be upset because I was suppose to be at her house already. I answered the phone with "I know I know I'm late". She quickly interrupted me with pure panic "I'm on my way to get you, Dad got in a wreck on his bike this morning, and it's bad. We need to get to the hospital right away".
I hung up the phone and screamed. "No NO NO, not my Daddy" and collapsed on my bedroom floor. My boys came running in my room. They had never seen me in that position of panic, or hurt before. Not like that. I was always one to keep it together for them. But not that morning. 
He was on his way to work that morning on his motorcycle. A deer had jumped out and knocked him off his bike going down the highway. By the time we arrived at the hospital, they were just telling my step mom and uncle that there was nothing more they could do. Too much damage was done and it was irreversible.
The next few days were a blur. All I could think about was, why him? Of all the rotten, selfish, evil people in the world..why him? Never once in my life did I think I would be without my dad. 
He was soo full of life yet! He still worked 2 jobs, rode his motorcycles, and even built his 2nd T-Bucket Roadster in his spare time. He loved goin to bike rallies, to ride in fundraiser poker runs, and loved going to the any kind of races whether it be dirt track or drag races. He never slowed down.
And now he's gone... 

This is a patch that was made for his fellow Harley brothers to wear on their jackets/vests. 

Right after my dads passing, my uncle had made a cross to put at his crash site near the highway. As time passed people have left flowers, and various trinkets in rememberance of him there. Over the course of time the cross had weathered quite a bit. So recently, we all decided it needed to be redone.

 We got new artificial flowers for the cross itself. And I attached them by screwing 2 screws (left), and then criss crossed the stems in between them. I them wrapped a wire around the screws to secure them into place. It can get pretty windy here and didn't want them just blowing away.

There are still days that I am selfish, and want him here. There are days that I struggle to remember the sound of his voice. And what he would tell me to do when I can't seem to figure life out. But I do remember something he told me the last time I seen him. As we were talking about this n that he told me "No matter what, life has to go on". Little did I know that those words were more powerful then I would've ever thought.
When day to day things come up, and struggles arise....I remember
"Life has to, and WILL go on"
I know that my dad is around guiding me. I can feel him, I can sense him. And sometimes he all out lets me know he's there. I will hear his favorite 80s hair band music station pop on...it'll scare the crap outta me...but I know it made him laugh.
As time has healed my broken heart a little at a time..I came to realize that I am so very thankful really.
~I am thankful that I had 30 years with him.
~I am thankful for having the best dad that not everyone is fortunate enough to have.
~I thankful for him teaching my sister and I to be good people, pay it forward. Good things come to good people.
~I am thankful for teaching us to work hard and always be honest.
~I am thankful we got to experience being tomboys. He would drag us out fishing early in the morning to check throw lines, playing in the muddy river, and taking us to the races to hear the sound of the loud cars.
~I am thankful for having the best 4th of July memories. That was his favorite holiday. The bigger the BOOM the better. lol
~I am thankful for him taking me to my 1st concert. Mine was my 7th grade Birthday present "Guns-n-Roses" Hell YEAH!

So if I could pass one thing on to anyone to ALWAYS remember...
"Life has to, and WILL go on"
No matter what life throws at you..you will get through.

Hug that "Man" in your life that helped make you who you are today.
Remember tommorow is never promised.

Fathers Day 2014


  1. Awe Shelly, my heart goes out to you today! Gosh he went so young...he was only a year older than me.
    Marie@The Interior Frugalista